Recently, I received some frustrating news and I’ll admit, my first reaction was to get angry and start to respond full of snark, potentially destroying a relationship. Luckily, I thought better of it and decided to talk myself out of firing off an angry email.
So how can we honor the emotions we feel and yet not let them control us? I can’t tell you I have all the answers, but I think a good first step is to pause. Just…wait….for a moment and breathe through it. Feel the emotions without reacting to them and then realize you can choose how to respond. That right there is powerful and especially important if we feel like we are a victim of someone’s actions.
OK, so what’s next? Well, if you’re anything like me, you then decide to just seethe for a bit and complain to anyone who will listen! But what does that do for you? Does it make you feel better? I know I certainly don’t feel any better! I start to revel in the victimhood and feel worse! I’m reminded of one of the Keller Williams training course, BOLD, laws “complaining = garbage magnet.”
I’m not a fan of “The Secret” and the idea that you can magically manifest what you want by thinking positively and doing nothing. I do believe that like attracts like and our brains adore patterns. As soon as you start complaining, everything else seems terrible too. And guess what? You attract other complainers! So complaining just leads to more complaining and puts you on a downward spiral.
So what can we do that’s more effective? I think the answer is we look for the lesson. We look for something we could do going forward to prevent it from happening again. Is there some way to take the lesson and even benefit from it? Can you maybe help others avoid it? Is it a wakeup call to make a change? It may not make everything all sunshine and roses for you, but it might just make some lemonade.